| The VIP Night Bus to Xieng Khouang |
I should have gotten nervous about agreeing to take the night VIP bus to Xieng Kuang last night. Barbara and Mark both wished me luck as I headed out the office and was promised that Thongma would pick me up at 6:30 to escort me to the bus station. Nang had reassured me that I couldn't buy a ticket ahead of time, and I had believed her.
Thongma picked me up promptly at the arranged time and we drove out to the northern Vientiane station, about 25 minutes from the city center. The station itself was big, filled with people waiting for two overnight buses: one to luang prabang and the other to Xieng Kuang. We approached the counter to buy a ticket, dragging with us the two overstuffed cardboard boxes of new QLA goods that I was carrying up there. Thongma told the ticket woman that I wanted a seat on the bus and she looked skeptical. They began conversing in Lao and my stomach dropped. Not understanding a word, Thongma finally turned to me and said "man, woman.". Clearly confused I said woman, thinking that's they needed a passport or some sort of proof. This created more confusion for the three of us and luckily a nice Lao man with fairly good English came to the rescue. I asked him to explain the problem and he said that the only open seat was next to a man and was I comfortable with that. Seat, sure. I don't really care but thanks for asking. I bought the ticket brought all my bags to be loaded onto the bus and waited.
Standing in front of the bus I realized that what once were seats had been converted to beds. Alas, the "sleeper" bus. I began to panic. I looked down at my ticket with A26 scribbled hazardly at the top and tried peeking into the front window. Praying that my eyes deceived me, I noticed that the four "seats" above the driver were labeled A28, A27, and A25. The last was covered by curtain and I forced myself to think that it said A24, following any standard numerical order.
Around 7:40 it was time to board the bus and sacrifice myself to what could have been 11 hours of awkward torture. I gave my ticket to the conductor and he immediately signaled for his boss to come over. Arguing in Lao I finally called Barbara and frantically begged her to find out what the problem was this time. The head conductor offered to put me on another bus that was leaving "soon" and going "near" Xieng Kuang on its route. Switching buses seemed like a horrible idea and they wouldn't move my luggage, thus allowing it to sit unattended for an indeterminable amount of time in the open and wet field constituting the XK bus station. I boarded my original bus and my worse suspicions were confirmed.
Walking onto the bus, I had probably 50 sets of eyes following me down the aisle to the front bulk head bed. The standard beds along the walls were just long enough to spread out on and would have been fine it they weren't shared, but even the thought of that was a dream. I made my way through the sea of stares on stepped up into the platform bed that was going to be my doom. While the entire situation was awkward, I couldn't stop laughing and between snickers I turned to the three other men in the bed and said "koy sue Carly."
But right, we all remember what Carly means. I had dug myself into a hole and the Lao men who were clearly terrified by the whole situation, couldn't hide their fear anymore. They looked as if I was going to gut them alive. I took of out my pillow, shoved my bag at my feet, popped a melatonin and prayed that I would quickly fall asleep, even though it was barely after 8.
At 8:06 the bus kicked into gear, pulled out of the station and I hastily made a "Laos FML" playlist on my iPod. Putting on noise canceling head phones wasn't enough as the driver below us had decided that in order to stay awake he was going to play loud, heart racing music. The whole time.
I laid there, curled up and plugged in, every so often making awkward eye contact with the man next to me and laughing every time the woman behind me's cell phone went off, emitting a rooster ring tone. To be honest it wouldn't have surprised me if someone had brought their rooster on the bus and quite a few chickens were unloaded in cardboard boxes when we finally arrived.
I drifted in and out of sleeplessness for the next four hours until, at 12:17, the bus stopped at Pamy's, a road side restaurant in the middle of nowhere. I can never assume anything in laos, because my initial thought of it being a pit stop was wrong. The whole bus unloaded, except for the man who was fast asleep on my left, and sat down at tables to enjoy a piping hot bowl of pho. These people can always eat and it never ceases to amaze it. 45 minutes later, the bus was loaded, we pulled out and set off again.
While the drive had been relatively flat thus far, it took a turn for the worse when we turned to take the infamous puking grandma road to XK. History repeated itself and the rest of the 5 hours was spent listening to people in the bus get car sick, which is NEVER fun. The bus stopped several times, perhaps to let people off to "pick flowers," or go to the bathroom on the side of the road. I sat there, half laughing about the situation and half frustrated that there was no comfortable position to fall asleep. Witnessing my discomfort, the man next to me offered me a blanket, which was a nice gesture but between the lack of decent AC and proximity to other body heat, wasn't going to help.
The bumpy road finally ended and we arrived in XK at 6:27. My phone battery at 3% I immediately called Vongdala to send a driver. I patiently waited for my luggage to be unloaded and I was so relieved when the driver arrived sooner than expected. He probably noticed the exhaustion and frustration in my face, saying "sabaidee pet meanie, ok?". I said "ok" back and he drove me to the office where Yula unlocked the gate and showed me to my room. I threw everything on the floor and jumped into bed. After the nights experience all I wanted was to catch a couple hours of sleep.
Viengmany called at 7:34 to check on my progress and I sleepily told her that she would see me later, after I regained consciousness. When I finally emerged at 9:40, Vongdala, Thoummy, and Lathana were getting in the car to attend a meeting at Helvetas regarding a QLA partnership for fair trade handicrafts. I threw on my shoes, grabbed my iPad and here I am.
It has only been 15 hours and I have no idea how long I'll be up in XK... The journey continues.
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